I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
