i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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