I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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