i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize