I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
