yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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