oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
