I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
