i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
