Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
