Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
