remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
whose ass print is on the piano?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So apparently I’m into choking now
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
