do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she pinky promised me she was 18
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
