I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
