What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
