Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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