Define "chronic" masturbator.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
May the power of my ass compel you!!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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