i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
