New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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