when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He did a backflip because drugs
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
