I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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