it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
