he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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