You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
