think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
