He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
