He asked to "fluff my boner.."
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
