holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
ok first of all what the fuck
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
