She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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