Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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