Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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