Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
