sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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