Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
