I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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