the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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