Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
