you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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