Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
