Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
