I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
