toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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