Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize