I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
