sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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