Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I will pee on everything he values.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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