Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
