I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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