I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Hello my rib-scented angel!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
