wakey wakey hands off snakey
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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