I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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