come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
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