Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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