Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
