guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize